Ok…we have “The business of being born”…”Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask”… The “Dr. Spock” series and even the age old novel, “Are you there God, its me Margaret”. Each of them outline and describe a faction of Bellies we develop, the Babies we birth and the business of the sex needed, to get them here.
But…what happens if we take the “Business of a Belly’s Baby” or the “Baby’s Belly Business” we would STILL come down to one thing…the child! That is what I would like to speak on today…the commanding trust of the unborn!
Pregnant women expect to carry the child to term, Dr’s rely on the pregnancy to succeed, to capitalize on the profits of the insurance companies they bill. Even (us) Midwives count on the last sexual adventure to result in future job security…but what are (each of us) really counting on and asking for?
…The child!
The child, gestationally sound at 38 weeks or greater, with a final APGAR of 9 or higher and with “4-10-and 10” (four limbs, ten fingers, ten toes ) is the product of happiness for the Midwife, the Belly, Daddy and the new “Big Brothers/Sisters”. That baby is the very reason that (even with her 60y/o fear of flying) Grandmom will board that Delta flight, bound for the arms of that new arrival, without a second thought. That child is the one person that “Uncle Pete” (and you know we all have one) will pull out his camera like he owns Kodak, snapping at every slight movement the newborn makes! That little one is the VERY being that will cause people to spend money, time, effort and energy to tantalize, smile at and watch develop, right before our eyes.
So why, when we speak of Pregnancy, the battle over the rights of the Mother, her option and choices in her way to birth and the challenges SHE faces each day of those 40÷ weeks, do we NOT acknowledge the child growing inside of her, more? We speak on him/her, as to its “intelligence” because of early actions in the womb. We gesture to what sex it will be based on the height or roundness of the uterine shape (BOTH, a total myth) and we fuss over the health/nutrition of the mother as though she is actually “feeding” the baby ANYTHING! (FYI…fetuses take from what Mom already has…Mom eats to replenish what she loses to baby)
BUT…we NEVER side with what baby is doing in the midst of all of this “fussin”.
We can’t say, “outta-sight-outta-mind” because each month her belly grows, we SEE the baby, bumping out of her mid-section trying to ration extra room in that “Uterine Condo”. We can’t use the fact that we “can’t talk” to the baby because research has shown that conversations between Belly (Mom) and Baby happen more times than we can record. Equally, the defense of not being able to understand baby is quashed with reason of KNOWING that Bellies (Moms) have been able to tell Dr’s, Midwives and even their partners that “something doesn’t feel right” when that “sixth sense” kicks in. So why do we (including myself) reason with the Belly so much when the real control, focus and importance obviously lies with the fetus itself!
So I ask…
How do we Practitioners re-focus on the real issue and task at hand, being the Baby? When do we put baby first and support the Belly, second. Is our focus on Mom’s health because thats who we see? Is it because we take for granted that the fetus will “just know”, so we focus on Mom? How about, is it because she (Mom…the Belly) is better able to “deal” with things that involve her health or is it that we ASSUME (and you know what is said about that) that the fetus is “ok” because there is nothing on the surface to say otherwise?
How can we, formed and born into this life realm, think that the fetus knows how to call for help if something goes “wrong”? Moreover, how can we ascertain a trust in “someone” that has never evolved (before) from a zygote to an embryo to a fetus to baby? (c’mon, you remember this…it was in your Human Sexuality class in High School!…LOL)
We, as practitioners lay in wait, for almost a year, for a being, that has no clue, has never done this before and has no one there to tell them what to do…and not to do. We have no clue as to what he/she is going to do or if it WILL come to term! With all that trust, belief and certainty in that job description, then why is it we lay fear in the Belly in her care, when we suggest/tell/advise her , during the pregnancy? Should we be equally trusting in HER (someone we CAN see and someone that was obviously healthy BEFORE she got pregnant) to have/offer a more “hands-off” approach, in our care for her?!?
I, a full-fledged, Indigenous Midwife in my own right, still struggle with these paradigms (as I call it) in my practice. Sometimes I’m all over my Belly, like a hawk with newborns in the nest. I come at my Belly-client like she is three, playing near a hot stove; I’m asking her this, telling her that, advising her to stop/start this or that! Then, (I guess) when the mood hits me, I’m cool as a fan blowing arctic snow…I sit back listening to her “story” doing my exam and then sending her on her merry way, without a care or concern in the world!
I said all of this to say, I have, with this dissertation, just realized that no matter what happens, the ascension of the newborn and the care of the Belly all comes out of TRUST; trust in a Divine plan for both Mother and baby! I don’t have a magic wand…a crystal ball or Dorothy’s Red Stilettos, so I have to believe that each gestational period I am honored to commence with, is what it is, for the reasons it will be…for the good (or the perceived bad). The energy and karma that has to unfold is all in Divine Order and Timing and I am NOW required to be the best steward of this craft, to just sit back and watch what happens!
But…Isn’t that what FETUS’ do anyway?!?
Sent to you from my creatively astute and fabulously efficient iBerry®…empowering Mommies one Belly at a time!
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